As a kid, I've been fascinated by action movies! For that matter even to this day I'd love to watch action movies. I can still watch"Where eagles dare" or "Predator" today. Remember, I've already watched "Where eagles dare" like 100 times. I had a VHS tape as a kid (I think I still have it somewhere stashed) and now a DVD. The words (Some people have 6th sense; Smith has the 6th, the 7th and the 8th) are etched in my memory for ever. Smith is "Richard Burton", a commando and of course Clint Eastwood, his side kick. If you are ever interested in watching this movie, let me know and I'll make a copy of the DVD and give it to you. There is no way I can give you the original (Which is ofcourse pirated anyway!!). And how can I not talk about my love for "Sholay"?? I think I'll cry even today if I watch Amitabh die! Ofcourse I have to be alone to get into the characters!
Anyway, I have seen so many die in the movies and as a child I've wondered what it is to die! What happens to someone when they die? Today, I don't want to find out that answer! Why? Because there is so much to live for! There is a saying "Health is wealth". I have been fortunate to really, really understand and realize that this is one of the truest quotes that man has come up with.
We all know that we'd die some day, but when you realize you are sick (In your 20s) and get the feeling that you might die? That is the most horrible feeling! I mean there are so many dreams you would have dreamt of. What happens to all those dreams? I have experienced that feeling first hand when doctors thought I might have cancer of the lymph nodes in 2005. The first thoughts were, this cannot be happening to me. The doctors are wrong! I know I'm healthy. I am fitter than most! What the heck?? I can wake up in the morning and compete in a marathon! How can my lymph nodes give up on me so soon? I was supposed to get married, spend the rest of my life with the woman of my dreams! I had a dream job! I had just bought my dream car. How could this be happening to me? I was shit scared and I didn't want to die!! I desperately wanted the doctors to be wrong about their diagnosis and I didn't want to hear their prognosis!!
The real hero of this blog is my dear friend "Aishwarya". She is the noisiest and the most hyper active girl I've ever known. Not to mention incorrigiblest!! So one fine day, I hear that she has cancer and is undergoing treatment. I could not believe what I heard! I knew what it feels like (well almost) but I cannot explain in words the sorrow that overcame me! How could it happen to her? I so much expected her to be in USA shortly and have a time of her life there! And here she was!! What the hell was god thinking!!
It dawned on me (again!) how helpless we humans are! We really don't have or "can control" on any aspect of our lives. I had rehearsed my lines to comfort her but I knew they would fail miserably! There was nothing that could make it all better!! The least I could do was let her know that I'm thinking about her!. Close to a year and many chemos later I see her to be getting back to shape. It's a joy to see her hair growing back again (The boyish cut is quite OK though)! I have seen her eye brows trimmed twice!!!! They are so shapely now! I can't wait to see her comb her hair again!
Strangely, she thanks me for "being there" for her often. In reality I need to thank her! I have seen her "smile" in her darkest hour! I have seen her "be herself - silly"!! How can she do that? What inside her even makes it possible for her to smile? But I still wondered why "Thank her"? What did she give me at all?? She didn't give up hope! She did everything in her power to keep herself alive! She showed me "hope" in action; Not the same kind you'd witness in the movies; Not the same kind you'd experience when you read "Lance Armstrong's success story! This was for real, real!!. She wasn't no celebrity, but a friend! We all long to witness miracles forgetting that there are miracles happening all around us! The hope I saw in her was a miracle to me!
1 comment:
Aishwarya thanks u again for all that she has felt, seen and heard from you. Aishwarya wants to keep few friends for life and you will always be one. Happy Bday.
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